Merlyn's Seduction

Finally.

2011-11-03T23:00:00.001+08:00

Yes! Tomorrow is my second last paper and then a 10days break to my last paper. Finally it's gonna be over!

Simply amazing though, there's already plans that are going on right after my last paper. First will be 2day1night chalet prom, then class BBQ. Aww, Can't wait though. Strong cravings for BBQ food! Noms noms (:

Shall start finding a job soon too.

You are not alone.

2011-10-29T11:38:00.001+08:00

I want you to sit by yourself in your room. This is the moment you are wallowing, this is the moment you want to listen to sappy music and curl yourself up in a ball and feel all lonely. There are moments when you feel self-pitying, there are moments when you wonder how you are so young and so pissed off at everything. People piss you off. People cuddling on train station piss you off more. Instead of listening to music on your I-Pod and thinking about the time somebody kissed your forehead, I want you to look at the things you have collected over the years. There are the terrible pictures you have taken of yourself in college- the one where you were at a bar with your best friends and you make the ' wtf what am I doing here’ face, or on the beach where you are laughing so hard because somebody just threw sand at your crotch. The necklace you got from your grandmother is here and so are the flip flops you’ve had since seventh year old because your mom bought them for you. I want you to pick up the postcards you got and your favorite book that is creased by the sides. You have read this book so much you can finish the lines by yourself and you probably love it. Then I want you to pick up your phone and look at your text messages. The one from your roommate that asks where you are, or maybe the drunk ones late at night from all the people you couldn’t be with at the moment. Oh, look! Your favorite school buddies who tells you they miss you! I want you to pick at least five people from your phone that you can call because you are feeling bad. Don’t call them, just know you can.

I want you to look at yourself in the mirror. There is a scar on your chin from the time you did something really fucking stupid with some really fucking great people. There is the face that you have grown from a little cute baby to the person you are now. I want you to make the lamest face you can in the mirror, I want you to remember all the things you like about yourself. I want you to laugh at it. I want you to stick your butt out at the mirror and smile.

Then you put on the song that you remember listening to when somebody was in love with you. I want you to think of the best memories you have had, and simply appreciate how you have had them. How you have felt something so big for somebody it made you nauseous and when they left, the best people in the world listened to you when you cried about it. You would feel that again, you think. You just might, you think. Refuse love being the end-it-all of your life. It happens and it doesn’t, and it usually happens again (which is what is so great about it.) Then I want you to cough or scream or raise your arms and simply remember how you are not alone. How you are here and you are here and that is where you are. And then I want you to think of the worst moments, the ones that made you feel shell-like and how you got over them. How you have the ability to get over shit because you are a person and people go through bad things and you are still pretty okay. How you can still laugh and give high fives and go to bars and not get how people function the way they do.

Then you realize how many more days you will feel alone. And how you sometimes crave figuring yourself out more than other things. And how many times going out or meeting certain people will make you feel like you don’t understand humans or how much you love them. Then you remember all your friends, and how much you will laugh at all the douchebags you have dated, and all the mistakes you have made, and how one of these things will always outweigh the others. I want you to allow yourself the biggest kind of optimism you can muster for the future moments of your tiny life. And I want you to sit by yourself and I want you to enjoy it. Pick your nails. Eat a slab of cheese. Savor it.

Then I want you to not feel so alone. You are not.

Heartbreaking breakup reasons

2011-09-21T21:11:00.001+08:00

It's difficult for people to pinpoint exactly why your guy left you. It's because every breakup is unique. But there are certain things that men want in a relationship and if you don't give them that, they will leave you.

The number one thing that men want in a relationship is to be a man.

I know that some of you may think that men only want sex. But let me tell you, that's not the truth. It is true that sex is hardwired in our brains and it is a huge part of what we want.

But more than sex, or intimacy, every man wants to be the protector. He wants to feel like he is protecting you, providing for you, and is needed.

Unless they feel appreciated, they will eventually lose attraction and will leave you.

Secondly, men don't like nagging. When women nag, they make a men feel like they are not
making her feel happy. They make them feel like they are not man enough for them. And worst of all, when women nag, they don't even tell him what he can do to fix it.

Men are hardwired to fix problems and protect their girl. If you make him feel like he can't fix something he will see no point in the relationship and will eventually leave.

Thirdly, Being clingy and too needy doesn't work either. A man needs his space in a relationship and if you don't give
him that, he will leave. Too much of anything is bad. And the same goes for affection.

Fourthly, being jealous all the time, calling him all the time
and asking about his whereabouts, always questioning
him shows one of the most unattractive traits in a girl.

Fifthly, INSECURITY

If you show insecurity, then you will quickly make him lose attraction for you. You are indirectly telling him that you don't feel you are good enough for him.

Lastly, most of the time, he may not even know why he lost
the attraction. He may say something like

• "I am not ready for a relationship"

• "I love you but I'm not in love with you"

• "I think it's best if we just stay friends"

• "I've lost attraction. These things happen. I can't explain it"

Goodluck!
Happy reading (:

What's yours?

2011-09-14T21:21:00.001+08:00

STAGE 1 (1-3 Months): The Honeymoon Stage
Everything seems perfect, both are happy and feeling “in love.” You share moments, dates and just having fun with each other, sharing laughs and giggles. It’s like nothing could stop you. Your feelings are infinite, and for once you’re thinking, “This may work out….” and it seems like nothing could go wrong. You spend hours getting ready before going out with this person.

*If your relationship ended in this stage — Most likely, both rushed into the relationship too quickly. Being together was all too sudden and just for the moment. When one starts noticing the flaws, one gets a choice to move foward, or back away. Being friends has a high percentage of working out, but nothing to stress over. Both may just need the time to get to know one another better.

STAGE 2 (4-6 months): The Bumpy Road
Things are going okay now. The relationship is calm and settled; both are still mostly happy. Had a couple arguments and disagreements here and there, nothing huge. Start to notice some of each other’s flaws and aspects of their personalities not seen before, but still truly care for one another.

*If your relationship ended in this stage — You truly cared about this person. You had the energy to fight for this person, yet you feel as if something was lacking, something was missing. It doesn’t feel right, one isn’t happy. When one isn’t happy, one tends to walk away to seek their new happiness. Being friends is still a possibility.

STAGE 3 (7-12 months): The Rocky Mountain
You start to realize who your partner really is. A few more arguments may occur. Problems with jealously, overprotectiveness may arise. Other people may come in the picture. The “in love” moments start to decrease, but you feel as if you’ve “fallen in love.” You tend to have this energy inside to strive and “make it work,” and you feel more comfortable being around this person, feeling more of yourself.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel as if you’re hurt, depending on the circumstances. You were so sure that that person was “The One.” You were so SURE that he/she was different. But like a cancer, a problem that may have happened, a small issue, grew into something larger that took over what was made between two people. You still miss this person from time to time. You still remember the memories. Being friends may be difficult right away, but over time, you slowly mature up, and learn the reality of it.

STAGE 4 (1 year or more): The Long Road
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years, huh? This person truly means something to you. You are “in love” with this person. He/she made a difference in your life. No one else knows you more than this person. You guys have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still strive to make it last.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel heartbroken; it’s tough. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, you miss him/her, you try to move on, you try meeting new people, but seems like nothing works. For whatever reason the split occured, it must’ve been something important, or something must have been so wrong that it took over. Being “just friends” is impossible, because if you tried to be friends, you wouldn’t be able to think of them in any other way besides the one you once “loved.”

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Listen close

2011-09-04T22:40:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging while I'm on my way back home. I know it's been ultra long that I didn't blog. Best part is I still have readers reading my blog.

Well, recently there's lots of up's and down's that got me really stress up and was in a dilemma state till now. My results were horrendous too, till I've no comments for myself. Seriously out of words but I manage to improve though.

Oh ya, there's once I lost my amulet tablet and yesterday I went to get one and open light again. Feel really safe now, sense of sercure I reckon?

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Heart do talks

2011-07-30T00:04:00.004+08:00

Like seriously, my heart is still with you after months have passed. Can't get it over yet, i swear! Really hope you could contact me again.

P/S: Hope you really read this.

Unfriend You

2011-07-23T23:13:00.001+08:00

I really thought you were the one. It was over before it begun. It's so hard for me to walk away but I know I can't stay.

You were never with me.

So it's over yeah we're through, so I'll unfriend you. You're the best liar ever knew, so Imma unfriend you cause I should have known, right from the start. I'm deleting you right from my heart. Yeah it's over, my last move is to unfriend you

I thought in time that you could change and my time and love would heal the pain. I didn't want this day to come but now all I feel is numb.

So it's over yeah we're through, so Imma unfriend you

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Tiredness killing

2011-07-06T08:10:00.007+08:00

I'm suppose to post this like yesterday night before heading bed but I fell asleep instead. I'm seriously very tired from yesterday PE lesson. Kinda of like hardcore because it's now in the afternoon when the sun is slightly brightly and warmly up in the sky. Although we have our lessons under the shade, still able to feel the hotness.

My homework are seriously stacking up and some are not even done when it was a holiday homework. For example English! Up till now still no action taken over it. Kinda disappointed with myself though. Maybe I shall chiong them in school later. Left with 1 situational writting, 1 descriptive essay and 1 narrative essay, done with compre. Dread doing compo because it serious kill my alot of my braincells.

Alright, it will be a hectic week.

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Virgin trip to Dbl O

2011-06-25T20:55:00.001+08:00

My Birthday Celebration @ Club Double O.

Didn't had time to update my blog with my birthday celebration post. the pictures are too big and the uploading always fail halfway, got really fed up and finally it didn't fail. Had a great night that day, seriously awesome with dearest and the rest. Had dinner at Charly T's Food Journey then to Day and Night Gallery Bar to chill first while waiting for the rest, not to be missed then to Double O!

Drinking Martell without mixer or ice with 2straws. Sucking it hardly!

The Awesomeness

2011-06-14T20:48:00.001+08:00

Those late May fun i had, seriously awesome!

You know,
PICTURES DO TALKS!

KUNGFU PANDA

2011-06-13T14:44:00.000+08:00

Baby PO!

Legal 18th

2011-05-31T12:57:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Finally I'm legal to drink, drive and blah blah blah. I'm gonna enjoy to the fullest today! Great plans ahead!

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Dying real hard inside

2011-05-28T00:17:00.001+08:00

Decided to blog because I realized my blog is kinda of like dead, in a serious need of CRP I guess.

I wanna die already, Chinese O paper coming! Praying hard that the paper would be easy!

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Imma be

2011-05-02T23:33:00.002+08:00

Alright, yesterday was shit. My mood totally gone after things happen at home. I nearly wanted to left home. Oh well, Shall not bring it up again.

Finally I got to sit in the car that Dan drive. Woohoo~ vromm vromm~ felt so much better after sharing my thoughts with him. And he's always there for me when I need people to talk to.

And yes! I got my white iPhone 4, like finally. It's a super advance birthday present from mummy and Dan. Hahaha, I'm so happy! 29 more days to my birthday and not to be missed, 28 more days to my Chinese O'level. Oh no!!!!!!!!!

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Yumyum

2011-04-17T12:29:00.005+08:00

Yummylicious food and drinks @Yishun Dam. Food soak with alcohol before BBQ-ing. Shiokness! Last week was 'Happy Syrup' and yesterday was 'Happy Milk'. Awesomeness! See that killer, made me hangover much.

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Contradicting

2011-04-06T18:25:00.001+08:00

Some people around me are seriously getting on my nerves. Some are drifting away from me or maybe I'm drifting away from them. Oh well, listen up! I don't give a damn.

School was draining and I've been getting frustrated lately with my studies. Maths especially! I knew nothing in some of the topic in that particular subject. I'm in deep shit! Preliminary one is coming soon, so does my O'level Chinese in less than 2 months time. In such a short period of time, I have buck up on my Chinese! I'm dying inside! Need a nightout pretty soon!

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Undefined

2011-04-01T15:35:00.001+08:00

Upcoming tedious week ahead!

FML

2011-03-18T19:04:00.000+08:00

Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today.

I miss you

2011-02-28T20:37:00.001+08:00

I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.

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Valentine

2011-02-14T12:21:00.000+08:00

Happy valentine day to all!(:

It's a day which I would receive gifts. And yes! I have receive my first bouquet of flower for valentine! It's SUNFLOWER! Thanks dan! But the sad thing is I'm having my sore throat and my voice sometime will chui when I'm half way through talking. So I shall have to wait for my throat to be heal then I can eat my famous amous cookie and my ferrero rocher's!

Breathe

2011-02-11T12:37:00.000+08:00

For the first time, I beg someone like a dog.

Happy CNY!

2011-02-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

Alright, its Chinese New Year now and that's when all my gambling times starts. Have been wining and losing. ITS A NORM! This year CNY is kinda of bored but never mind! I'm going to Malaysia to visit my dad at my uncle place. Can't wait thought!

Senseless.

2011-01-13T18:20:00.001+08:00

OMG! Look at the Patrick nails, cute right?!

By looking at this picture, i've got the urge to paint my nails again, like seriously. During the holidays, i didn't manage to paint my nails because i was working. Now, i've already started my days back in school. its obviously that i can't paint them. Feel so naked without colours on my nails :(

Its only been the second week of school, i had already feel that school is draining out of me. Maths is killing, so does the other subject. I have to admit that after trying out in sec 5 for almost two weeks, i'm rather regreted of continuing after my N's. I'm afraid that i'm not able to catch up with the work given. Almost everyday, there's homework given and i will always be stuck at one of the question, thinking and killing my brain cells really hard.

Carry out

2011-01-09T18:24:00.001+08:00

Strong winds suddenly awakes me, plenty of thoughts running through my mind, missing those people around me, missing those memories we shared. Came across with my past times pictures, hanging out with each other, enjoying ourself. Aww those were the days.

First week of school is coming to an end and if you would ask me how was it? i would reply, I'm enjoying and I'm able to catch up with the works that teacher gave. No worries okays?

Down with a super bad flu, hugging the tissue box filled with tissue throughout the whole night. Nice weather for sleeping though but please, my nose are dropping soon ): More pictures update soon okay? I know my post are rather wordy :P

Dang!!!

2011-01-04T21:18:00.000+08:00

Alright, today was my first day of school as a sec 5 student. Like finally! I'm currently blogging while waiting for my hair to be washed. And yes, I'm dyeing my hair back to black because i was caught this morning once i entered the school gate. What a suay day. My school doesn't use to be so strict in checking but this year it was totally different. Oh well, Goodbye my ashbrown hair!

Goodbye

2010-12-31T12:51:00.000+08:00

2010 is coming to an end. I hope 2011 would be a better year for me. And yes! 2010 teaches me not to expect for more or too much in certain ways which i knew it would be a total disappointment.

What a life?

2010-12-29T13:41:00.000+08:00

I've been being like a no life human for almost 2 months. Its either i'm working or during my off day, i will be at home sleeping. And yes, its gonna end in a few days time. My plans are rather packed after 1st of Jan, lots of upcoming programs for me i suppose if everything goes well.

We dance on

2010-12-14T11:59:00.000+08:00

Falling in love is rather like a dance. Each dancer has his or her own steps, but for the dance to work, each dancer must also understand the other's steps, and move together in a fluid movement, sometimes parting but always aware of the other. It is a beautiful thing to watch. And yet so many budding romances fall at the first bundle; too many dancers spin apart from each other, or fail to bend to the other's rhythm

Yawns

2010-12-08T11:29:00.000+08:00

I'm back into blogger after one week. I'm sorry if my post were rather wordy. I've have lots of pictures to share it here! But the cam is with my uncle because he needs to print the pictures out. Oh well, forget it. And also, i have lots of things share, but i'm gonna summarize into this small little space.

I'm getting more and more tired each day after work. Every night i got home, its already 12am plus or maybe even at a later time. I remembered on Monday i got home at 1am plus, that because we, whole bunch of staff when down to geylang for supper with manager and boss! Woohoo, had a nice and filling supper. I swear i was super full that my stomach almost burst!

Ok, I'm starting a new shift on this coming Friday. Starting work at 11am till 7pm and if there's isn't enough staff for the night shift, i will be working as OT! More OT more $$$! Hahaha! That's because my outlet is doing their grand opening.

Alright, i'm stopping here. i will update soon! (:

Welcome December !

2010-12-01T13:58:00.000+08:00

Okay, why do i sounds like I'm welcoming December whereas my results are coming out in this month. Each day passes, I'm getting more and more tense up. I wonder what will be the outcome like? Good or Bad? ITE or SEC 5?

I'm super duper happy because i got my Saturday off this week for my grandpa birthday and my workplace is having a advance Christmas celebration for some some old folk, some charity thingy. Its gonna be fun but i'm giving it a miss. Oh well, i'm suppose to bring silly to grandpa side but can't make it. TOO BAD!

Sucha turn off

2010-11-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

Yes, i finally see through how some people are like. They can be those that doesn't talk to you for long period of time, but when they need helps from you, they would approach you indirectly. This is what i'm facing now. They can't find jobs but at the moment they saw my facebook status in replying to my dearest or status update, they came asking me on facebook online whether i could intro them to the job and blah blah blah. Oh please, this is too obvious!

Some hugs is what i needed ):

2010-11-20T02:36:00.000+08:00

I'm down, a serious one. I don't know why am i so sad this time round, i wasn't used to be like this for the previous few time. I pity my customer today, they smiled at me and what i did was just some ignoring. I've got no mood for anything ):

):

2010-11-19T15:58:00.000+08:00

My gastric is aching like mad since yesterday night. I admit i didn't have any food the whole of yesterday till now. Alright i'm super duper sad at the moment, some comfort hugs is what i need the most now.

Something meaningful

2010-11-15T13:57:00.004+08:00

You're the cutest, sweetest, nicest, greatest asshole, I've ever met!

):

2010-11-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

I seriously hate working for now. Its not about the tiredness, toughness and such, its about the moment i get my pay! Everyone is asking me for money, for example, my mum! I'm getting so fed up now. I've have to clear my debts too! Argh!

Meow Meow

2010-11-10T11:32:00.002+08:00

Aww, This is seriously cute!

Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.

Everything we do

2010-11-06T13:25:00.001+08:00

Cute boy, nice eyelashes he have!

You may think that you are just one in a million. Or one in a billion. Perhaps one in a trillion? But every one of you make a difference. To the world, you’re just a person. But to a person, you may mean the entire world. Every where you go, you’re leaving behind footprints, hand prints, fingerprints. That gum you spit out on the sidewalk? It’ll be embellished into the cement forever. Every person you meet, you’re leaving behind a memory for them. Every person you hurt, you’re leaving behind an aching heart that’ll probably never fully mend itself. Every smile you wear, will brighten up someone’s day. Every word you say, will affect someone else’s mindset. Every step you take, you’re moving forward, leaving behind a trail of your essence.

Confusion

2010-11-04T15:22:00.000+08:00

Things are making me confuse, really confuse! I've got so much things that I have to commit till I can't handle. I don't wish things starts to turn bad. In fact, i shouldn't have work in the first place.

Drop Dead Tired

2010-11-03T16:11:00.000+08:00

Shall be a super quick post as I'm gonna rush out for work later on. I'm busy working recently till I started neglecting my love ones, kinda feel bad. Having my off day tomorrow, can't wait! (:

Pissed

2010-10-28T11:42:00.002+08:00

I'm still angry over yesterday morning. Not that I'm being petty or what, I felt that its hurting. Just don't know why I couldn't get over with it. In fact, what you gave was totally SHIT!

ONE

2010-10-26T12:26:00.001+08:00

See this silly, My dearest boyfriend! She's so much in love with me! Oh well, if you were thinking who was the person who commented on the status, that was my sister! I miss hanging out with her going for 'date'. I shall wait till her O's are finished then i shall spend one of my off day with her at night with her in the pub. Great? That's what she always wanted.

Oh yeah, I'm starting work today at Admiral Bar located at Singapore Flyers. Alright, that means i have less time for my beloved ones. I shall make sure that my off days are spend fruitfully.

P/S : I can't think of a post tittle so i put ONE instead (:

BACK IN ACTION

2010-10-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

I always hoped for someone who can really understand me a lot. What i mean was a really a lot. Till now, no one could really do that, even for my mum. I'm not pin-pointing at anyone around me. Its seems that people around me doesn't know what i don't really like. As in the way of talking they have? The way they judge people? I wonder why can't them open their heart and accept new people coming into their life? Don't they spare a thought for me? How contradicting! I'm always stuck in a situation!

Oh well, there's a limit in my patience. Doesn't mean that i treat you nicely, you can do whatever sorts of stuff to me like a retard. You can climb over my head all you want, i will just be ignoring you. Get that?

♥ BABY

2010-10-15T01:00:00.000+08:00

Run out of reasons to smile without you. ♥

Graduation 2010

2010-10-13T16:20:00.007+08:00

Ok, i'm back to update this blog of mine. I'm having my holidays now! Finally it had arrived, i can enjoy myself for these two months. Although some of my papers were rather disappointing, i guess i shall not brood over it(: Had my graduation ceremony yesterday and it was awesome! Can't wait for my class bbq this coming friday. I guess it will awesome one with my awesome classmates?

Smiles always

2010-10-04T18:14:00.001+08:00

Why is Spongebob the most ideal friend?

Patrick: He still loves me even if i'm stupid. He ignores my weakness.

Squidwerd: I always drive him away & yet he's still there for me. He never left me behind.

Mr. Krabs: He repects me though all i desire is money. He respect what i want.

Sandy: He's still my friend even though I'm a land squirrel and not a sea creature. He accept me despite our different.

So, who the Spongebob in my life? (:

there is only one you.

2010-10-03T21:12:00.000+08:00

Only one, there has never been another you. And there never will be another you. So if you’re wondering who you should be…

just be youself(: ♥

Blew

2010-09-30T23:09:00.001+08:00

My N's are coming in about few days time, feeling so stressed up much! I just have to tolerate it for a week and then to my holidays. Can't wait!

I don't know why am i feeling so pekchek for this few days. I had actually blew up my temper today in class. I'm sorry if my bottle had had hit any of my classmates, i'm really sorry. But oh well, i feel much better after letting it out.

And fadzly if you are reading this, I'm not angry with you okay? I'm just not in the right mood to talk. you don't have the need to keep saying sorry. Smiles(:

Mad funny

2010-09-26T23:13:00.001+08:00

If you were to close your eyes...

How will you feel when you grab a peeled banana inside the toilet?
How will you feel when you shake a guy’s hand drenched in egg yolk right after you heard him sneeze?
How will you feel when you get slapped in the face with a polish sausage inside the men’s locker room?

Fuck

2010-09-25T20:43:00.001+08:00

Out of a sudden, I feel like a total stranger. Now I understand why do I keep having this uneasy feeling. After knowing what had happen, that feeling had just disappear right away and my heart sinks! Oh well, I just miss my past year life. Now I know what's going on.

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Loves

2010-09-23T16:57:00.001+08:00

I finally understood what true love meant. Love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.

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I know

2010-09-17T21:36:00.001+08:00

I've been living my life to the fullest ever since someone had appear into my life. Oh well, It's been great, no words can describe it.

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All i think about

2010-09-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

Aww, look how cute Patrick is!

If only I was happy

2010-09-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Having such tendency to buy some donuts with some rich chocolate toppings after seeing this picture. And also a cup mocha frappe, it goes well with it. How nice.

Finally I had finish my 3 papers and I able to enjoy to the fullest for this week. When i come to think of not having anymore CL, EL and SS lessons, I uber happy. But when i come to think of having MORE GEO lessons, I'm TURNOFF by that. Aww, Sucks balls!

Disappointed

2010-09-07T20:01:00.001+08:00

I'm seriously feeling so fucking disappointed with my social studies paper. I FLUNKED AND SCREWED THE WHOLE PAPER. I just couldn't stop brooding about it. I had never ever memorize any essay till this stage that people might think that I'm insane. It's my last chance this year, I'm putting in lots of effort, I'm trying my very best ):

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Annoyed

2010-09-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

I wondered what has got into me, I've been getting so flare up over small matters. Creating a big fuss over some matters too. Let's take today for an example, I got really angry. Shall not share it here, i wouldn't want to think about it anymore. Even if i was given millions bucks, i wouldn't want to.

How i wish i could tear a few pages of my life. Oh well, I guess I'm not the only one who love to do so. I bet some people out there would wish to do so.

No Matter

2010-09-02T17:15:00.000+08:00

My dearest & one and only sister.

Manage to find grab one photo from my sis's facebook that was taken at Chambers82 that day. The rest of the pictures were ugly. I look like a total crap in it with teary eyes and such.

Next week, my schedules are rather pack. I think I will be really exhausted travelling here and there, Burning midnight oil, Lack of sleep and what sort of excuses I can find for myself. How I wish I've the super power of teleport-ing. How great will that be?

(:

2010-09-01T00:51:00.001+08:00

" UP "

I think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. Its merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated.

Not that

2010-08-30T17:36:00.001+08:00

Decided to blog since I'm at somewhere where there's wireless.

Well, I'm at Gelare cafe with my classmates and I happen to see someone that got the same side view as you. I hesitate for awhile thinking was that you? Thinking are you here to look for me? Goodness, My heart almost sinks. Dang! You know who you are ):

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Disappointing

2010-08-25T21:13:00.002+08:00

Oh well, I got back most of my preliminary results and it rather disappointing. I was seriously ill during that period of time. I felt like I'm repeating my same old steps like last year. Demoralize much.

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Oh Well

2010-08-24T22:22:00.001+08:00

Maybe there's ain't right moments, right guys, right answers.

Maybe sometimes I just have to say what’s in my heart.

Aching

2010-08-23T23:16:00.003+08:00

How many of us will be saved the pain of seeing the most important things in our lives disappearing from one moment to the next? I don’t just mean people, but our ideas and dreams too. We might survive a day, a week, a few years, but we’re all condemned to lose. Our body remains alive, yet sooner or later our soul will receive the mortal blow. The perfect crime, for we don’t know who murdered our joy, what their motives were, or where the guilty parties are to be found. They too are the victims of the reality they created.

Leaving

2010-08-22T12:51:00.000+08:00

Getting ready, packing up and leave. Things are not within my control. My schedules are pack for the next coming weekdays, Schools and some other meet up. Prelim results coming out soon and I'm still brooding over my POA papers. FML)):

We gonna dance on

2010-08-19T20:28:00.000+08:00

Waiting for you to message me is killing. In fact, you didn't message me for days. I'm dying inside.

It's not that I wouldn't want to take the initiative to message you, I'm tired doing that for almost every time.

I'm not kinda of busy, I'm just waiting for your messages. Get the facts right, dude!

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Fuck that shit

2010-08-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

School is draining although I'm having my prelims for this week. I shall endure for two more days and then I can have some good and long sleep over the weekends and not to be missed, my nightlife(:

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You know

2010-08-17T14:32:00.000+08:00

Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we’re closest to can betray us, and total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.

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you.sucks.

2010-08-16T17:00:00.001+08:00

Oh yeah, Monday? Hmm... All I can say I'm super sleepy and nearly overslept this morning! I shouldn't have eaten my cough syrup last night but I've got no choice, I'm coughing like mad. This morning while i was doing my Chinese paper, half way done I eventually feel asleep. Not on purpose but i really fell asleep.

This shows how tired am I.

Saturday night was over at chambers 82 with my sis and her friends, celebrating robert's birthday. Took some pictures but its with her. Shall wait till she upload it then i shall take it from her and post it up here. Stay tune yo~

Have to start planning what to do on friday, any suggestions?

Oh.fuck

2010-08-15T19:37:00.003+08:00

I'm having such tendency to do something, make things clear, make things right. I can't be going on thinking nothing will go wrong. I kept dragging and dragging, when will I have the courage to ask or even speak up.

I'm stuck in a situation, feeling really depress.

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Hello

2010-08-14T15:48:00.000+08:00

I guess i made the wrong choice, i took the wrong step.

I'm falling deeper.

TGIFAFTW

2010-08-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

Thanks God Its Friday And Finally The Weekends.

Guess that i fell sick at the wrong timing. Its friday today and I'm staying home to rest tonight. How i wish that 'that someone' would come over my house to accompany me which i doubt so.

Having bad cough still and i ate durain just now which was bought by my grandma. Its seem abit of tasteless but there's still some taste bitting on my taste buds(; i ate quite alot of heaty food today which i'm not suppose to eat them, had McSpicy burger! Goodness, better not let my mum know if not i sure get nagging. Slowly I shall say hello to good and nice food again(:

Sick

2010-08-12T21:55:00.001+08:00

I came across this picture of this baby and the first thing that i thought of was the eyes. Beautiful eyes he/she has.

I'm down with cough, flu, sorethroat and high fever. Seen the doctor just now and I've got throat infection again. 2days Medical Leave but I'm heading back to school tomorrow if my fever subside. My prelims starts tomorrow, English and Chinese paper one.

I hate being sick because all food seems tasteless to me, as if my tastes buds had gone insane. Popping down 5-6 pills 3 times a day, getting a little overdose. Well, bidding farewell to good and nice food for the moment.

NDP 2010. ( Delayed post )

2010-08-11T18:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!

I went for this year NDP 2010 with my Sherlyn (my sister), Chris (sister Bf) and Daniel. Well, really enjoyed myself there with the uneasy feeling with my chest. In fact dry coughing really kills!

( All the Harley Davidson )

( GOH )

( The Red Lions )

Not all pictures are up here. More pictures up on my facebook. Go and take a look. More pictures on the fireworks but i didn't manage to snap the last part because the last part was the nicest! My camera memory full! Argh, but then nevermind asl long as i enjoyed the fireworks can already. LOL(:

Exhausted

2010-08-08T22:53:00.001+08:00

My legs are super tired and its aching now. Not just some minor aching but a serious one. I went for my family outing today. Our trip started at Hort park then made our way towards Henderson Wave then to Mount Faber and lastly to Vivo. Supposing i wanted to update with pictures but then i realize i doesn't have any pictures with me, its all in my uncles's cam! shall post it up once i get those pictures. Stay tune yo(:

* EDITED*

Here's the pictures, not many but just only two.

Tortured

2010-08-06T19:16:00.000+08:00

Suppose to blog through my iTouchy just now but the wireless got cock up and i forgotten what's the post is about. Got really flare up. Goodness!

Aww, its friday and i'm staying home. kinda of like super bored now. Angtat asked me out for drinking tonight down at boat quay. I want to go but then i have to think of the consequences after coming home. I don't want to get any earful from my mum. Thinking whether should i head down.

Hmm Hmm Hmm...

Bad day

2010-08-02T15:10:00.003+08:00

What a Bad day. Been seriously angry, finding its a waste of time.

FUCK MONDAY BLUES!
Infact, I'm pissing off with myself. Getting a short nap after this.

Looking back

2010-07-31T22:29:00.001+08:00

I get happy when i see you online but the moment when you went offline, my heart sinks. Having the temptation to talk to you but I'm scare that i would get disappointment instead of happiness. Looking back at our old conversation through my chat log, how i wish you would talk to me like how we used to. Thinking about those fun and good memories that we had/shared. How i wish we were now still sharing, enjoying ourself and thinking how great it is. Ok, i seriously miss those day but i think its not gonna happen again.

I guess, i have to say this to myself.

Merlyn, you have to stop thinking and brooding over it and move on.

Imperfection

2010-07-30T17:28:00.002+08:00

( Low quality picture, Credits to LZY )

Yes, Its finally friday and i'm super happy. Partly because its friday, as you know school is draining! Another part is some of my stressing issue had been released. Super happy and super sad at the same time. which is which?

Cutting down on my ciggs which i had really been doing for days, becoming a social smoker. Great?

NightStudy

2010-07-29T23:42:00.010+08:00

( great companions for my night study )

Above pictures are just some picture taken during my night study today. Not all pictures are posted up here because i'm just lazy to wait for it to load up. The pictures size are quite big and its takes a super long time to load. Getting tired, heading bed soon. More pictures at my facebook(:

Monday blues

2010-07-26T16:29:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling some sort of piss right now. I really don't know how to describe it, just simply piss and angry. What's with these people nowadays? Can't they spare a thought for people around them? They are stuck in a situation thinking what to say, what to do.

Yes, Monday blues! I'm so mad tired in class today, cold and sleepy. Rushed out of my house forgetting to bring my jacket along. Its all your fault, weather! You shouldn't have rain all night long! Slept throughout the whole of my Geography lesson. Some revision later on after my nap.

Not to be...

2010-07-24T22:48:00.000+08:00

Watched old cow vs tender grass just now, a super hilarious show and not to be missed. I admit i was laughing hardly and loudly in the cinema. OK, I'm not the only one who laughed loudly. other people in the cinema was also doing what i did too!

Headed over to malaysia for some shopping this afternoon and i came back at 5 plus 6. The next time i heading there will be when i got money again. currently super broke now! Going for tattoo there! can't wait yo! Seriously i cant wait! I brought a addidas shower foam for the addidas store there. The smell of the foam is nice! Loving it yea. Gonna try it out later on when i go for my bath(;

Unglamorous

2010-07-20T22:24:00.001+08:00

Many people has been saying that time heals all wounds but I don't agree. Wound always remain in time, in our mind, protecting it's sanity, cover them with scar tissue and the pain lessen, but if we realise it's never gone.

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I miss you

2010-07-19T21:48:00.001+08:00

It's has been about 3 weeks or maybe a month that we last contacted. I misses you. You know who you are, I doubt you will see this.

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Oh Fuck~

2010-07-18T14:33:00.000+08:00

I suppose to update my blog yesterday but then something happen to my blogger. Lucky i manage to get it working back, if not i cant be blogging here. Headed down to boat quay on friday night with bitch. Back home at 5am smelling of ciggs and liquor and i was drench. Caught a cold and I'm having flu. Hahahaha, MY NIGHT LIFE ROCKS! I'm loving it(:

Confusion

2010-07-15T23:09:00.001+08:00

I'm quite confused how some people can be. How contradicting, how uncontented can they be at times?! Can't they make up their mind? Don't they think that the person who is facing them are stuck in a situation about thinking what to say?

I skipped school this morning. I'm super tired and i overslept till 7 plus. I asked the permission from my mum asking whether I could rest at home today and without thinking, she agreed to it. The moment she agreed, I quickly jump back onto my bed and back to my sleep. Thanks mum(:

I reckon, early nights from now. Turning in pretty soon.

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Leaving me there

2010-07-14T23:15:00.002+08:00

I have been wondering what is wrong with me today while I was on my way back. Staring in spaces, loud music in my ears. I guess I'm too overly stressing myself, lacking of sleep or whatever sorts of excuses I can find for myself. I had made some errors in those figures in my POA work. I think it's not some but pretty a lot. Today, its the first time I almost screwed up the whole of my profit & loss appropriation a/c with lots of correction fluid in my notes and accounts papers. I have to stop being so careless with the figures. Although it's the first time today, there will always be a second time. Prelims are coming in just less than a month. Pulling up my socks and bucking up. It will be good if there's some motivation.

Imma gonna sleep early tonight, I too tired and school is draining me. Looking forward to my weekends.

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Just me

2010-07-13T20:29:00.001+08:00

I don't view myself as a victim. I don't even view myself as a survivor. Living in truth has opened up doors to me that i never could have imagined 'existed'. I feel proud to be where i am today, with my head held high. I'm just me. No more, No less. Just 'Merlyn'

'Despicable Me'

2010-07-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

Blogging this at 12.36am, I just got home not long ago. I watched movie, 'despicable me' just now with my friend. I swear its mad nice. Agnes is really cute! I like the part when she said, Does this count as annoying. Super cute to the max (Y). Out of the three girl, Margo, Edith and Agnes. I like Agnes the most. She's cute and naive(: I don't mind watching it for the second time. I guess, i have to ask my classmate to download it for me and i shall put it into my iTouch . For those who have yet to watch, be quick and go to cinema to catch it.

Set myself on fire.

2010-07-11T23:40:00.001+08:00

I remembered, someone asked me why do i live?

I answered, Because i have something worth living for.

If you were to...

2010-07-11T01:45:00.001+08:00

If you were to ask me, how am i? I would reply, I'm doing fine without you.

Enjoyments.

2010-07-10T15:10:00.012+08:00

I seriously enjoyed myself yesterday. Had dinner at swensens with cliques. Laughing is what we mostly did there. Giving some nonsense which turn out laughing at each other. Spend nearly 2 hours there waiting and eating our food. Took pictures, playing each other itouch games and such. All this was totally Amazing.

HEY YA~

2010-07-08T23:42:00.000+08:00

Its Friday tomorrow but i ain't looking forward to it. I'm having my N's English oral and I've to stay back all the way till latest 6plus because I'm the last one of the day. After that I've to rush down to Hortpark for work. What a super rushing day tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrows weather would be fine, not sunny and not raining. just fine. I wouldn't want to rush for my work in sweats.

How about this?

2010-07-07T22:46:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, living in the past is way times better than living in the present.

Lies.

2010-07-06T21:58:00.000+08:00

Had a nap just now but I'm still sleepy. The weather today was really very warm and I don't like it. I wonder what has got into me lately. I guess, I been thinking too much. Need a break and some motivation. Today is just only the first day of school of the week but I had already felt that school is draining the hell out of me.

Getting it over

2010-07-03T10:14:00.000+08:00

I gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which I really stop to look fear in the face. I am able to say to myself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’

If I had never ever

2010-07-02T19:18:00.000+08:00

Sorry if i had neglected you for the past few days. I had oversee too much things that is happening around me. Plenty of thoughts are running throught my mind, getting all stressed up. Worrying about things that i can choose not to. Getting it over.

That some sort of reunion

2010-07-02T14:22:00.001+08:00

Watched ECLIPSE yesterday at AMK hub with Fat, Nel, Boon, Gavin, YJ and BF and i swear its fucking NICE! Watching movie with Gavin is really annoying! He keeps on talking and making noise. The cinema was fucking cold and my legs are trembling badly. After movie we chatted and there's was lots of things to catch up with them. Talking about our Sec 1&2 lifes, Laughing and Smiling. Those were the days~ Back home at 11 and did some sync on my ipod which make me so fucking piss! Slept at 2 plus which resulted to overslept this morning.

Console hugs.

2010-06-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

I hope that someday, somebody hold me for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at my face, they don’t try to kiss me. All they do is wrap me up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.

The start

2010-06-29T18:00:00.000+08:00

Back to my stress days, I'm still in my half holiday mood. Trying my best to wake up early for school. Set 3 alarms to wake me up, but my bed seems to be calling me back and my blanket seems wanting to get on top of me. Been pulling myself to go for my bath. After bath i was so energetic but the moment when i board the bus to the mrt station, i felt sleepy again. I guess i shouldn't have sit down on the seat, maybe i should have stand in order to keep myself awake. Shall try that tomorrow and see whether does it works.

School was alright for this two days and i manage to run away from any attire checks. As usual, timetable did had a change and i hate it. I have to remember what lesson that i'm having once again for each days. Tomorrow shall be a real start of studying, lesson ending at 1.25pm. I shall head home for a good sleep(;

Here i come, here i go.

2010-06-27T17:28:00.000+08:00

Shall be a quick post. I'm heading down jurong point to get my addidas bag later on. I super in love with that bag. And i'm not paying for that bag because someone agree to pay it for with for some exchange terms with the lappy. LOL. School starting tomorrow and i've got to iron my uniforms and pack my bag. I haven been touching my bag since the last day i went for my intensive classes. LOL, i still have the cheeks to say that. First day of school re-open confirm there will be some attire checking. My mum has been bothering me about my hair, she kept asking to dye it back to black and cut my fringe. Hopefully nothing goes wrong in school tomorrow. I wants to have peace because i will still be in my holiday mood. HAHA

Overly dose.

2010-06-26T13:34:00.001+08:00

Having so much of disappointment right now.

Live on, dude.

2010-06-26T02:39:00.000+08:00

We have two eyes and just one tongue, which means we need to look twice and talk once. We have 2 ears and just one mouth, so we need to listen more than we talk. We have two hands and one stomach, so we need to work twice as much as we eat. We have two major brain parts, the left and the right, and one heart, so we can think twice but love only one. Isn’t it amazing that our body parts remind us how to live right?